Too Early For Vodka
by Crystalline Green
Summary: Aside from her family, Beckett still keeps her secret - but soon she knows it will come out. Will a meeting with Lanie at a bar be enough to blow the door off the oven and reveal what she's baking? AU, related to my first two Castle offerings.


_**AN **_When I wrote my first Castle piece, entitled _'The Deep Fried Mars Bar'_ I didn't expect that it and its subject matter would invade my brain like it has. Not long after, I was driven to write _'Mornings are for Stockings'_ on Christmas Eve naturally. Looking back now I should probably have multi-chaptered, but I quite like them - in one shot form - as they are. I figure if you're interested you'll find them, you don't have to of course, but I would like it if you did read them. I know Mornings in particular still has pretty free flowing traffic visiting it (how does that happen?) and so I find myself driven to write this third related offering, which I think this time will be left open for continuation. For anyone who doesn't know me - I don't do planning, these things are organic and they come and do what and when they want, indeed this one has already taken on a life of its own, so I make no promises other than to say I think there will be more. I hope you enjoy.

Cheers,  
C. Green

_**NB** Playing with other people's toys was always more fun..._

* * *

Just a few days after the turn of the New Year, Kate was summoned to meet up with Lanie. A text arrived midmorning, 'Need both a drink and a talk with my girl; Guy trouble… I know you're off, so don't even think about saying no.'

Not that she would, Lanie had always been there for her and allowed her to bend her ear with guy issues, and most recently not just any guy, but infinitely more complex _Castle_ issues, especially before their relationship flourished, when Lanie was their biggest advocate for giving _them_ a go. She knew part of it was self-indulgence on Lanie's part, she was a sucker for gossip, always had been and always would be, but she also trusted that Lanie would always have her best interests at heart. Kate knew she enjoyed hearing all about her toils and troubles concerning "Writer boy" - Not that there were many of those these days, Kate felt blissfully happy, and rightly so. She had just enjoyed the most pleasurable, exciting and stress free Christmas ever, with her family – well mostly with Castle's family - but they had accepted her as one of their own and then there was the big one. The news they shared with them on Christmas morning, revealing that soon there would be another Castle joining their ranks and this only served to cement her place within their midst.

Everything was progressing well. Her pregnancy had been text book so far. Even though for a while she wished she could have torn the book up and thrown it away, irrationally hating the book when morning sickness arrived right on queue and ripped through her for several weeks. She was thankful then for her workaholic nature all through her career, as she had vacation time available and was able to take a few days off when it initially manifested and was at its worst. She was able to stay home and be miserable in relative comfort, while Castle tended diligently to her every need. Mostly this entailed letting her sleep, keeping her hydrated and getting whatever food he could into her whenever she showed the slightest interest or inclination - He tried every combination imaginable, until he seemed to hit upon a few things which worked for her; plain rice and potato chips were godsends - at all those things, he was magnificent, added to that she never felt that he was hovering over her, he just seemed to be there when she needed him most. "It's a talent" he insisted and if pressed she would concede that it was; a most welcome one at that.

She'd told Gates about it of course. She knew before Castle in fact, due to him being away when Kate first suspected, then had it confirmed by a home test and soon after she had her concrete answer provided via a doctor's appointment. She stepped into Gate's office the very same afternoon, having prudently waited until Espo and Ryan were out on a follow up to minimize opportunities of tipping them off at this very early stage. "Sir, may I have a moment?" she said hovering nervously in the Captain's open doorway, butterflies playing havoc in her belly.

Gate's was in her familiar pose, standing just behind her desk, glasses perched on the end of her nose sorting through a box of files. "Sure Detective." She said peeping over the glasses and shoving the paper work she'd been perusing to one side. She gestured to the chair, "Please take a seat."

Kate paused for a moment, debating on closing the door or not. A double edged sword, as it would ensure privacy, but was also likely to arouse at the least interest, at worst suspicions from anyone looking on. 'Let them have their suspicions then,' she thought 'much better than them knowing, before I'm ready.' The decision made, she gently shut the door, then moved to take a seat in the offered chair.

Sensing something important was about to be divulged, Gates settled herself and removed her glasses, a look of part concern part expectation on her face. "What can I do for you Detective Beckett?" she asked, ever practical, ever direct. There was no beating about the bush when it came to the Captain. At first Kate had struggled with her strictness, so different to the way Montgomery had operated. But over time she had come to trust and respect the captain every bit as much as she had her predecessor. More than that, she had come to like Gates and she thought the feeling was mutual.

"Sir…" she began, Kate thought she knew exactly how to tell her; had been running though it on the way here, but when it came to saying the words, the first time she would tell anyone, the magnitude of it hit her and hit hard, she was having a baby, she was going to be a mom and the prospect of actually saying it made it all so real. She had dropped her gaze away, taking a moment to gather herself, Kate sucked in a deep steadying breath, and blowing it out she raised her head deciding on direct simplicity. "I need to tell you… I learned this morning that I'm pregnant. About five weeks."

Gate's nodded, not showing any outwards signs of surprise and was there the merest hint of a smile on her Captain's face? Kate thought there was.

"I appreciate you notifying my promptly Detective." Straight back to business. "I am sure you are aware that the NYPD has a 'pregnancy policy' in place for personnel in the field?"

"Yes Sir. I am, but having never had reason to read up on it before, I am not certain on its finer points."

Another nod, "Well, fortunately for you this has been something I have recently been able to affect some changes in. With regard to this department at least." Gates said with that hint of a knowing smile back on her lips again, causing a blush to rise on Kate's cheeks. "Don't think I didn't see this coming Detective." Kate felt increasingly self-conscious at that remark and once more lost the nerve to maintain eye contact, therefore she was surprised to hear a light chuckle from her commanding officer. "Don't worry Beckett. If not you, then someone else would benefit from the overhaul of an antiquated policy.

"I have the last say in time frame for restriction of duties, of course there will be consultation with you throughout as your safety is the main concern. I expect to hear from you as and when issues arise and whenever necessary. When you or I feel the time has come, we will discuss putting you on light duties, but - I am sure you will be pleased to hear - I feel that is quite some way off at this stage. Would you agree?"

Kate felt relief wash over her. One of her main worries was the prospect of being locked down in the precinct for the duration, she was tempted to not divulge information regarding her pregnancy right away because of this fear - but ultimately, if that was a sacrifice she had to make, she would have done so willingly. This baby already meant everything to her, she loved it from the moment she suspected, and her love had only grown upon confirmation. No length would be too great. "Yes Sir, I would."

"That's good." Gates said amused at Kate's obvious relief, but she also sensed Kate was coming to terms with the issues and dangers involved and she was pleased to see it was evident. "I recommend that for the time being, you continue with your duties as you see fit. I know what this will mean to you Detective and I trust that you will exercise discretion and precaution in judging for yourself what you can, should and should not do."

Kate nodded solemnly, she knew she had been reckless in the past, but that was when it was just her life at stake. She had already felt a shift in her reactions to danger during the time she and Castle had been together and while that scared her, made her worry about it affecting her ability to do her job, she knew that now her priorities had to change radically, she vowed they would and in fact she felt they already had. Gates continued "Ok then, we will keep this current arrangement in place and assess once again, shall we say once you begin showing? But I stress again, come to me if there is anything at all you're not comfortable with."

"That sounds more than fair. Thank you Captain."

"There will be some paper work for you to fill out, I will have it ready for you by the end of the day. Read it, and return it when you're ready." Kate nodded, relieved the conversation had gone so well, perhaps even a little surprised. She figured Gates' overhaul of the policy had a lot to do with that fact. "Now, was there anything else?"

"Yes Sir, if possible I would like to keep this between us, at least for now. Castle doesn't know yet and even so I think I would like to wait before we tell everyone," she received a nod from Gates, as if she had expected this, she probably had. "Unless they cotton on of their own accord of course. I will let you know once the cat is out of the bag."

"When does Mr. Castle return?"

"Not for another two weeks yet." She said, then her breath hitched on the thought 'oh god, that's so long', he'd been away a week already and that was bad enough, but now his absence was going to be unbearable, this was just too big. Frustration grew and she found tears welling in her eyes.

"You'll be just fine Kate." Gates said kindly, the use of her first name startling her out of her spiraling thoughts, and was just enough to provoke a watery smile and Kate also found it in herself to laugh at herself, hormonal symptoms already? "Now was there anything else you wanted to discuss?" Gates asked offering her a tissue.

She shook her head, "I don't think so, not at the moment at least." Kate blotted her eyes and stood to leave, "Thank you Captain."

"One more thing before you go." Gates said, stopping her just as she reached the door "Congratulations Kate" she said softly offering up a genuine smile.

* * *

And so here she is, stepping out of a cab midafternoon, outside Lanie's choice of bar, wearing a carefully selected outfit sympathetic to her swelling middle and intended to not draw attention to the undeniable fact that it was. She was glad it was winter.

She and Castle had already discussed telling Lanie and the guys, they probably already would have, if not for the fact that they had got so caught up in festivities with Castle's family and her dad, who had also been put in the picture over the holidays. Following three blissful days off, she had been brought back to earth with a bump, two bumps actually – as hers seemed to have exploded over the holidays – then they landed a heavy case which left everyone, especially Kate feeling shell-shocked, deflated and struggling home at the end of each day exhausted. Plans to gather everyone at the loft had been put on hold and by the time they caught the guy New Year festivities took over delaying them once again.

They had at last fixed a date for the guys to come over next weekend, but by now Kate was sure that they wouldn't be able to keep up the façade until then. In truth she was surprised that they had managed it for this long, almost fourteen weeks. Kate paused outside the bar, adjusting her sweater, straightening her coat, re-slinging the scarf around her neck. A meeting with Lanie anywhere was dangerous territory, never mind in a bar filled with forbidden fruits.

She was early, hoping to beat Lanie to getting the first drinks in, at least then she would have a modicum of control over what was to transpire. However, luck was conspiring against her, Lanie was already there spotting her as soon as she stepped through the door and she waved Kate over to join her eagerly.

Kate checked herself nervously once more, catching her reflection in the glass partition between door and bar, then began making her way through the remainder of the late lunch crowd. "Hey Girl, get in here," Lanie said, throwing back the last of her drink, she looked like she expected it would be the first of many. Even before Kate slid herself into the booth, Lanie had signaled to the waiter, drawing him over for another order.

"We'll take two double vodkas, rocks." Lanie told him as soon as he arrived at their table.

"Not for me." Kate interjected speedily, freezing the guy in place mid turn as he was about to wheel away. 'Well there's that one blown all to hell Kate thought', but there was no way she could let the order stand. "Fresh orange juice, please." The waiter nodded and then was hustling on his way.

Lanie shot her a surprised look. "Since when did you turn down vodka, especially on your day off?"

"It's too early for vodka." Kate stated simply, trying to wriggle her way out of her coat. It was her fall back rebuff to offers of booze when she knew she shouldn't be drinking, usually related to the quantity she knew she were capable of consuming once she got a taste for the stuff, not to mention the wildness it had been known to provoke once she were in the zone. But now it had a whole new connotation.

Lanie was evidently still unimpressed and unwilling to let it drop judging by the laser accurate glare she was still firing in her direction. Kate struggled under its unrelenting pressure, willing herself to not yield to her body's reactionary impulse to squirm and failing. She rolled her neck and shoulders in one resigned movement, her eyes joining with a roll of their own, finished off with an equally resigned and flustered sigh.

"Like 26 weeks too early." She said a little morosely, finding the thought of how long was left daunting, yet perversely, with the reality of it all setting in, she she found herself worrying that she still wouldn't be ready when the time came.

Eclipsing those fears though, was the utter delight she felt, she sparkled with it in anticipation. It began at her core but fizzed outwards soon touching her face which erupted in a gentle smile. Lanie's look of concentrated confusion only served to make it broaden. Kate chuckled to herself, enjoying teasing once more.

The opportunity didn't last long though, Lanie was not a patient person, not when it came to personal matters. She would pursue answers diligently for days, even weeks when it came to a case. But matters concerning her best friend? Those she had about as much patience for as a hungry bear presented with a picnic.

"Kate?" She said with narrowed eyes "You'd better spill it." It was a warning, a promise of physical violence if she didn't get to the point, never mind the table that separated them currently, it would not be an adequate barrier to spare her from a smack, which was probably only mere seconds away from being promised.

Kate watched, enjoying the darkening of Lanie's expression, the squint in her eyes becoming ever more severe, she held out for just a few seconds longer. She hadn't intended to tell, not today anyway, not like this. Lanie squinted, her jaw bunched and fire burning in her eyes. Kate saw it coming, she knew this look well, had received it many times, could already hear the words and the exact way they would be delivered in her head ('Girl, I'm 'a smack you!'). Lanie huffed a frustrated breath, opened her mouth and just as she did Kate chose that moment to interject.

"You can't smack a pregnant woman Lanie!" Kate stated aghast.


End file.
